A little pre-post in anticipation of a lack of wifi and time to write…..
I’ve been thinking lately that it’s funny how friendship works. Maybe it’s all the Dawson’s Creek I’ve been binge watching lately, maybe it’s the perspective that 12 years out of High School will give you (BTW – OMG 12 years that’s crazy and I’m old). It definitely has something to do with the current events of my little family. Friendship is a really funny thing.
I’m a total introvert. My best friend in the world is my sister, and other than her I’ve got a few other people that I go to when I need someone, whether it’s for a tea date, a yoga buddy, a confidant, a laugh or a cry. There are very few people in my circle of trust. Most of those people I’ve known for a really long time, and a few newbies that though relatively new, feel like I’ve known them forever, - I’m nothing if not loyal. Anyway, all of these people have responded exactly as I knew they would – that’s why I keep them around.
But there are those that have fallen away. Not by choice, but more by circumstance. We grew apart, our lives took us to different places, my life was spent in London Ontario for the better part of 8 years post High School graduation. It’s not only where I went to school, but after I met the Boy there, I spent countless hours on the 401 highway going back and forth every weekend to visit through the summer, and even after I finished and moved back to Toronto, my heart lived in London. To be honest, I’ve always carried a little guilt around friendships that were once so important to me that I didn’t maintain.
Then Cancer happens.
And it’s funny who steps up and who comes out of the woodwork, to let me know they’re thinking of me, cheering, hoping and sending all of their positive energy my way. It’s been surprising in some ways – mostly because I tend to hold that guilt, it’s my fault that the friendship is different than I thought it would be, 10, 15 or 20 years ago. But that’s just part of growing up right?
But then I thought about it, and it’s really not surprising at all.
Because I would do the same. I would be heartbroken if I heard that something was happening in one of their families. I would offer the same condolence, the same small messages of hope, of cheer and all of my positive energy.
So without naming names and without getting too sappy. I just wanted to say thank you. It really means a lot to me.
I’m pretty big on all things for a reason, in my opinion it’s really the only way to maintain sanity. So if all things are for a reason – I hope this reason is to bring you back into my life.
And maybe we can be friends again.
For reals this time.
Or maybe it’s enough to know that even though we grow up and grow apart, I’ll keep you in my heart and you can keep me in yours. And we’ll nix those guilty feelings for good.