My dad is a story teller. Sometimes he’s criticized for telling the same story a few times… in the same evening. But I love it, it’s just part of his charm.
Dad’s classic stories are about growing up in the North. He’s told us about the day they rolled up the sidewalks – they were wooden when he was young and they rolled them up and poured concrete. The local skating rink? Plowed by horses. Our reaction? “Wow Dad, you were like a pioneer!” I’ve often wondered what about my childhood will my kids find ancient and bizarre. Will it be that we played in the street? I hope not. Will their ability to tele-port put our mini-vans to shame? That might be fun. It’s hard to foresee a paradigm shift.
But it started with Pluto. When Pluto was no longer a planet, I thought this will be the story I’ll tell – “Back in my day we had 9 planets, the smallest and furthest was Pluto.” But the news I heard this week was much more disturbing than the abrupt loss of Pluto. A change to our identities. A change in the Zodiac signs.
Now let me clarify. I know very little about zodiac signs and horoscopes in general. I only read my horoscope when I’m at my parent’s and flipping through the paper, on my birthday, or when MSN is having a slow news day and highlights the Horoscope page. But I do know that I’m a Taurus. A bull. Sensible, grounded, craving a stable and simple life… and maybe a little stubborn. But no more.
Apparently the stars have changed and now I’m an Aries. An Aries? I know nothing about Aries. And it’s fine – I’ll continue to read the Taurus horoscope and stay true to my bull roots, but what worries me is the confusion this is going to cause my future children. They will look for Aries qualities in me and when I say I’m a Taurus and Pluto is a planet they’ll look at me like I’m crazy.
Just when I thought I could come to terms with this I’m going in late to work today and I’m watching Regis and Kelly and Regis JUST announced that this will be his final season. 28 years he’s been doing this show. 28 years? What else is 28 years old? Oh wait that’s ME!
So it’s official. Pluto is no longer a planet. I’m an Aries (the Boy is now a Taurus – not possible BTW), people with zodiac sign tattoos are screwed and Regis and Kelly will now just be “and Kelly.” The world has officially been turned on its head. Anyone else feeling chilled and disturbed?