Waiting Room Crazies

I went to give my blood to vampires trained professionals for normal blood work last weekend.  I got to the clinic about an hour after it opened and took a number. The room was packed but I luckily got a seat.  I sat down and settled in by busting out my knitting.  I was golden to wait for however long it took. Or so I thought.

I found myself sitting in front of an over-sharer.

I sat down and was immediately informed that the woman sitting across from me had 2 children.  Fine.

I learned she delivered them naturally. A little much for a waiting room.  But fine.

I learned with her first birth she had a Doula, while with her second, a couple years later, she also enlisted the help of a midwife.  This is getting wierd.

I learned this woman really “misses the feeling of a baby moving inside [her].” This is getting creepy.

I learned that 9 hours after delivering (naturally – for those that had forgotten) her first baby, she was ready to go home.  She was going to the bathroom by herself, up and dressed and walking around.  But the Doctor’s wouldn’t let her go home.  They threatened to call Children’s Aid Society on her.

I learned she had later learned that she has a friend who works at CAS so – “She would have been fine.”

I learned she thinks it’s ridiculous when women have babies and are laid up for days on end.  “Oh I’m so sore – c’mon it’s not that bad.” – Thanks Judgey McJudgerson.

I learned that her husband works late shifts so her kids really miss him and she feels like a single mom some times.

I learned that her oldest daughter doesn’t get to see her dad too often because she’s in school now.  Hmmm.

Then.  Then she started talking to me.

Crazy Lady (CL) – What are you knitting?

Me – Socks

CL – Oh.  I thought they might be leg-warmers.

Me – Nope. Socks.

CL – My girls LOVE leg-warmers. They’re like me, they hate socks.  But they LOVE leg-warmers.

Me – Polite smile and back to my knitting.

CL – The other night they both had their leg-warmers on and were telling me just how warm they were. And I said “Girls, if you’re hot – take off the leg-warmers!” And they said “No! We LOVE our leg-warmers”  They really love their leg warmers.

At this point I was recapping what I’d learned in my 20 minute wait.

Crazy Lady misses being a preggo.  She was not there for herself, she was with her father (that’s right her father was sitting beside her while she was talking about her junk).  She has two children both of which she had naturally. She judges all other preggos for their inability to bounce right back after pushing a human through their business.  Her kids love legwarmers (I’m not really sure what I was supposed to do with that information. Was I supposed to knit them some leg-warmers in the waiting room?). And her oldest is in school full-time – which puts these pregnancies which she is so fond of talking about approximately 6 and 4 YEARS AGO!

And that’s what I learned in the Waiting Room.

People are weird.


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