Well, we all knew it was coming right? I thought maybe we could have the very first hassle free wedding. No glitches. No problems.
Didn’t quite make it.
We had our
first only I setback. It was kind of a big one, but luckily we’ve got people in the know.
I was trying to find out what to do about Wedding Banns – having them read in the church versus paying for a license. I couldn’t find that, but I did find a bunch of new rules for wedding ceremonies in this particular church.
To be fair, it appears as though they are trying to be progressive and inclusive – but the language they use misses the mark. It comes across as simply rude and offensive.
- My Dad cannot walk me down the aisle as I’m “not a commodity to be traded in exchange for a dowry as it was in ancient times.” I didn’t know I was a commodity until someone told me I wasn’t one.
- Keep your wedding parties small – preferably simply a Maid of Honour and a Best Man. Additional bridesmaids or “extra virgins for the groom to choose from should he tire of the bride are not appropriate.” What? This is brutal. First of all we have already asked our wedding party to participate. Second, I can’t speak for the Boy but this was not what I had in mind when I chose my bridesmaids. Third, WTF?
- Small children should be no younger than 4, younger children can disrupt the ceremony. Take Ann Landers advice and eliminate these small people altogether. WHAT?! We don’t have small people, but this made me want to go find some just to stick it to ’em!
So, I called our Priest (who is not at this church but was coming in to marry us). I talked to him about what I found upsetting. He assured me we could work around it. These were not guidelines he agreed with – our wedding would be a reflection of the Boy and I, and he is a firm believer that the church part of the wedding should not be stressful at all. I then asked him if we could change churches. To which he answered, “Wait. You haven’t sent out your invitations yet? Oh that changes everything! I’ll call you later this week.”
Calls were made, but churches were booked so we had another conversation. Our priest asked me again what specifically I was upset about. I said while I knew he could take care of the details, I still found it rude and offensive. He assured me he would take care of everything, when he is saying a mass he runs the show for that mass. We would get what we wanted and even if someone through some sort of Coup I as the bride would never know. Then he asked how I was feeling.
I said, if he says it will be fine, then it will be fine. But that I found it upsetting. It made me nervous. But I trusted him.
Then he said the greatest thing I could have heard at the time.
“How’s 3:00 at Our Lady of Grace?”
This actually works out really well. Our Priest is actually moving to this church so it will become our home church in a few short weeks. Next thing to do is actually go to this new church to see the place we’re going to be married in. And tell all of our vendors that we’ve made a
significant small change. And now that we have a church we can print invitations. And cross our fingers that the impending mail strike won’t last long.
If there’s one thing I love more than telling off people who make me angry – it’s avoiding confrontation altogether!
Crisis averted. Back to calm waters.