My Ovaries Hurt

Meet our newest baby.

They’re poppin’ up all over the place but this one has an extra special place in my heart for two reasons.

  1. I have known his parents the longest and been BFF with his mom for over half my life.
  2. He lives the closest.

I love him! He’s so sweet he makes my ovaries hurt.  He’s so tiny and his parents so tired that he makes the Boy leery of ever having children.  This is the difference between boys of a certain age and girls of certain age.

The Boy and I get asked all the time when are we going to have children.  I know this is typical for newlyweds but the question for us is the normal amount x100. It was mentioned with such regularity at our wedding that the Boy incorporated an answer into our speech just so everyone could be clear, “We have no immediate plans, but we do intend to practice until we’re good and ready!”  No joke.  It elicited this reaction

Having all these littles around does make me question though – when does it become the right time? How much planning can we do? How many ducks should be in a row – and which ones should we just give up waiting on?

Let’s be clear, my ovaries may be hurting but I have NO intention of adding one of these beautiful littles to our lives ANYTIME soon.

  1. We just got married – let’s stop and smell those roses for a minute or two shall we?
  2. I just started a new job – and while technically I only need to be working there for 13 weeks (January 10) to qualify for maternity leave benefits, I am not basing family planning on when I get coverage, and I’d like to be settled into my job for more than a few months before I up and leave it.
  3. 2012 is the first year, ever – that the Boy and I should have some disposable income.  The last couple of years, we were by no means starving but the idea of going away for a few days, going to a play or some weeks even a movie – required some serious financial planning. While we have little intention of upping our lifestyle dramatically to reflect our new family income, it will be nice to have a little more financial flexibility that I am fully aware a little would quickly gobble up.
  4. The Boy, while he is now an official teacher is still short-term occasional (daily supply), which means some days he works, other days he doesn’t. Sure, most days he does, but there is no guarantees in his income right now.  I’m not sure we’ll wait until he has a full contract, but a little more stability as far as a long-term occasional (covering a maternity or long-term disability leave) would be nice.
  5. We live in a teeny-tiny apartment. I don’t know if you’ve heard but little people come with a lot of stuff.  We have not a square to spare.

But then every once in a while (like this weekend) I do the math, and count forward and have a little freak out that my biological timelines and my rational plans are not really going to match up and one of them is going to have to give eventually…. and then I calm down… and realize the fortunate position I am in right now.  One where I can go and visit and cuddle, then leave and go home… and sleep, uninterrupted through the night.

So instead of living in constant panic about which is going to give first biology or type A planning, I am focussing on being a good friend to all the new little mommies in my life. Friday we made Kristyn and John dinner in exchange for a snuggle with their little one.  I’ve been knitting like a fiend and all of our littles will be well wardrobed and warm as long as they are my baby knitting priority. And while a lot of people are very concerned about how baby is doing, I’ve been trying to make an effort to ask the little’s parents how they are doing, and if there’s anything I can do to help them as well as their little.

And for now, I am quite content to leave it at that.

(did you hear that? it was the Boy sighing in relief and our mothers crying in agony that they are never going to have grandchildren!)


One response

  1. Pingback: Happy January 2nd! « The Twenties Roar

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