More Today

The Boy and I were at a lovely wedding this summer. Our friends were married by the same priest that married us, in the same church. The Boy was the Best Man, and Fr. Joe took more than a few jabs at him in throughout the ceremony.

Our friend the priest did have something to say that day that has really stuck with me over the last few months (and it wasn’t about how the groom should really reconsider his friends).  He told the happy, crying, over-the-moon in love couple that he hoped their wedding day was the least happy day of their marriage.  He said in your marriage you should love each more today than yesterday, and a little bit more tomorrow.

 

I can’t say that I love the Boy more today than yesterday, or more than a week ago, or last month. But I do love him more than our wedding day. We are stronger today than we were then. We’ve been through some truly craptastic days in the last 3 years, and while I would happily trade many of them in, there is no one else I would have rather spent those days with.

 

We are a team. Happy as a team. Sad as a team. Successful as a team. Frustrated as a team. Elated as a team. Scared as a team. Some days he has to be the team captain, and some days it’s me. Through it all what keeps me the most steady and focused and optimistic as we face our toughest opponents is the knowledge that we’re in it together, and reading from the same page of the playbook.

 

Look at me with the sports analogy.  He must be rubbing off on me.

 

Happy Anniversary Buddy.

West Photo-1970

I thought I loved you then.

Two Years

When the calls and conversations
Accidents and accusations
Messages and misperceptions
Paralyze my mind

Busses, cars, and airplanes leaving
Burning fumes of gasoline
And everyone is running
And I come to find a refuge in the

MeaghanDan_0374_Crop

Easy silence that you make for me
It’s okay when there’s nothing more to say to me
And the peaceful quiet you create for me
And the way you keep the world at bay for me
The way you keep the world at bay

Monkeys on the barricades
Are warning us to back away
They form commissions trying to find
The next one they can crucify

West Photo-2047

And anger plays on every station
Answers only make more questions
I need something to believe in
Breathe in sanctuary in the

Easy silence that you make for me
It’s okay when there’s nothing more to say to me
And the peaceful quiet you create for me
And the way you keep the world at bay for me
The way you keep the world at bay

Orange tie

Children lose their youth too soon
Watching war made us immune
And I’ve got all the world to lose
But I just want to hold on to the

Easy silence that you make for me
It’s okay when there’s nothing more to say to me
And the peaceful quiet you create for me
And the way you keep the world at bay for me

Mr. And Mrs.

The easy silence that you make for me
It’s okay when there’s nothing more to say to me
And the peaceful quiet you create for me
And the way you keep the world at bay for me
The way you keep the world at bay for me
The way you keep the world at bay

Easy Silence by the Dixie Chicks was the last song the Boy and I danced to on our wedding day.

Two years has flown by, and these words have never felt more true for us.

Happy Anniversary Buddy… I know whatever this year brings for us, we’ll take it on it together.

Love always.

Happy Anniversary

Happy Anniversary

Did you notice that the wedding posts (and all posts for that matter) fell off the planet? Yeah, me too.  What can I say… the summer’s been a little nutso.

But today’s the day. One year later. First anniversary.

“They” say the first year is the hardest. If that’s the case I can happily report the Boy and I are in for years of smooth sailing. I read a post the other day from Fumbling Towards Normalcy about fairy tales and happily ever after. It made me laugh. Shana always makes me laugh. But she opened this post reflecting on a friend’s status on her anniversary and I really couldn’t agree more.

For richer and poorer – check – (got a new job; bought a house)

In sickness and in health – check (only the odd man cold; for the most part we’re pretty healthy)

For better for worse – check and check.

Sure we’ve had an argument or too, but we also had a lot of fun. It feels different than when we were engaged or dating. And still any time the Boy refers to me as his wife it feels a little strange but it also makes me feel really loved.

But as I remember what we promised each other last year, it makes me remember how lucky we are. Lucky to have found each other. Lucky to have had such a perfect wedding day. Lucky to be supported and loved by so many people. Lucky to have such a happy life together.

Happy Anniversary Buddy. 1 year down, lifetime to go. 🙂

XOXO

There’s a Beatles Song for Every Occassion

That’s what my Dad always told me.

And he was right.  For our dance together I chose In My Life by The Beatles

Maybe you’re the type of person who has heard this song and thought – SAP-PY. (Kate I’m looking at you).

There are places I remember
All my life, though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain

All these places had their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I’ve loved them all

But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new

Though I know I’ll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I’ll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more

Though I know I’ll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I’ll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more
In my life I love you more

But when I hear this song I think of my Dad.  It makes me think “There’s a Beatles song for everything,” and it makes me think, isn’t that what every kid should have, a parent who loves them more than anyone else in the world.

I think so.


Thanks for the dance Dad and all your love before and since!

You Can Dance if You Want To

I knew what song the Boy and I would dance to at our wedding for years.  YEARS I tell you.

Dave Matthews Band – Stand Up album came out the summer my beautiful sista got sick. I listened to that album that summer and belted it out as I drove to visit the Boy on weekends in London. Just read the lyrics and you’ll know why I fell in love with it.

I walk half way around the world,
Just to sit down by your side.
And I would do most anything girl,
To be the apple of your eye.

Troubles they may come and go,
But good times they are the gold.
And if this road gets rocky girl,
Just steady as we go.

Any place you wanna go,
Know I’ll be next to you.
If it’s treasure baby you’re looking for,
I’ll search the whole world through.

Know troubles they may come and go,
But good times they’re the gold.
So if the road gets rocky girl,
Just steady as we go.

When the storm comes,
You shelter me.
And I don’t say a word,
And you know exactly what I mean.
In the darkest times,
You shine on me.
You set me free.
And keep me steady as we go.

So if your heart rings dry my love,
I will fill your cup.
And if your load gets heavy girl,
I will lift you up.

Troubles they may come and go,
But good times be the gold.
So if this road gets rocky girl,
Just steady as we go.

Ah
Hold me,
Shine on me.
Oh, shine, shine,
Shine on me.
Shine, shine
Yeah shine on me.
Hey shine.

Beautiful. Like I said – Decision made.

And then we went ahead wedding planning and The Boy was wonderful, basically he supported any decision I made. He gave input when asked. He took charge when I needed him to. And most important when the load got heavy, he lifted me up.

And then he offered an opinion.

About 2 weeks before W-day, we were driving home from London and my wedding mix was playing and a little country tune came off the iPod and into the Boy’s ears. And heart apparently.

And suddenly, he had an opinion.

Boy – “I really like this song.*” (* The Boy rarely pays attention to what is on the radio and only has strong feelings about songs by The Tragically Hip)

Me – “Yeah, me too.”

Boy – “It makes me think of us.*” (* It is even rarer for The Boy to actually attend to a song long enough to have thoughts about the lyrics)

Me – “Yeah, I know that’s why I like it too.”

Boy – “Have we chosen a first dance song?”

Me – silence* (*And in my head – “oh crap”)

Here are the lyrics if you’re not inclined or unable to YouTube

Brad Paisley – Then

I remember, trying not to stare the night that I first met you
You had me mezmorized
And three weeks later, in the front porch light
taking forty-five minutes to kiss goodnight
I hadn’t told you yet
but I thought I loved you then

And now you’re my whole life
now you’re my whole world
I just can’t believe the way I feel about you, girl
Like a river meets the sea,
stronger than it’s ever been.
We’ve come so far since that day
And I thought I loved you then

And i remember, taking you back to right where I first met you,
You were so surprised
There were people around, but I didn’t care
Got down on one knee right there once again,
I thought I loved you then

And now you’re my whole life
now you’re my whole world
I just can’t believe the way I feel about you, girl
Like a river meets the sea,
stronger than it’s ever been.
We’ve come so far since that day
And I thought I loved you then

I could just see you, with a baby on the way
And I could just see you, when your hair is turning gray
What I can’t see is how I’m ever gonna love you more
But I’ve said that before

And now you’re my whole life
now you’re my whole world
I just can’t believe the way I feel about you, girl
We’ll look back someday, at this moment that we’re in
And I’ll look at you and say
And I thought I loved you then
And I thought I loved you then

Sigh.  I still wasn’t convinced.  I ran it by a friend of mine – her question, “Will you feel like the day was missing something if you don’t dance to the song you always thought you would?”

I didn’t know the answer.

I ran it by Sista “Well, since you didn’t take dance lessons – an easy country song might be easier to dance too”

Good point.

I asked my mom. Mom always knows what to do. “Meaghan, The Boy hasn’t asked for much. They are both beautiful, and they both speak to the two of you.  But if you do The Boy’s choice, then your first song reflects his feelings and your last song reflects yours.”

Brilliant.  I knew Mom would know what to do.

So after years of envisioning our first dance one way – it was turned on its head.  And it was awesome.

Bride recommendation – Listen to your Boy’s suggestions, they may be few and far between but when they come they’re probably important.

And make time for dance lessons. 😛

What was your first dance song? Did you choose or your Boy? What went into your decision?

The lovely photo is another from Cross Hatched Productions. And one of my favourites!

We said some things and then we danced

After everyone was finished with there delicious dinner and dessert (which we didn’t get to try – though we heard it was the best molten chocolate lava cake in the history of the world – sigh), The Boy and I got up and said a few thank yous. I wrote some things down months before. But I didn’t print anything, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to actually share all the things I wished I could say – especially to a certain pair of parental units. Luckily, I wasn’t alone. The Boy wrote a few notes but he hadn’t rehearsed anything either – turns out we’re more… speak from the heart type of people.

The only problem, I couldn’t tell you what we said. I know we switched back and forth, mostly so I could compose myself after thanking my lovely Nanny, family and parents. The Boy thanked his parents and was sure to thank his Grandma for making the trip. We thanked each other and while I don’t really remember the specifics of what I said (though I took pieces from a poem that I wrote for the Boy and printed in a book for him as part of his wedding gift) and I don’t remember the specifics of what The Boy said, but I do remember how loved I felt. Looking out on a room FULL of people who took the time out of their schedules, all of whom traveled from some distance – and LOTS who traveled from a GREAT distance – just so they could share this one day with us. It was amazing. I felt so. very. loved.

Then we danced.

The dance was some debate. New or old? Boy’s choice? Meaghan’s choice? Meaningful? Danceable?

I’ll tell ya’ it wasn’t an easy decision.

Come back this afternoon for the deets and the decision.

This Little Light of Mine

I’m going to let it shine!

They may not have sung it, but that was definitely the theme of the Boy’s parents lovely words.

The Boy’s mom did the talking, while his dad checked out the woodwork.

Just kidding.  He held the basket too. 🙂

The Boy’s parents had some lovely things to say to officially welcome me to their family – and I think the nicest part was when they said I had been part of their family for a long time before W-day.  Thanks team!

The Boy’s parents found this lovely poem and gave us a big ol’ basket of candles!

A basket of candles that come in a pair
In all different colors, for you two to share
The white ones burn first
They are wrapped in white lace
To celebrate your first married night
In your new chosen place.
The green pair is taller, and also much thinner
Burn with the first company, you have over for dinner.
The dark blue candles are for after your first fight
Use them to burn while making up all night.
Pink candles set the mood and pave the way
For your first married Valentine’s Day.
Now, when your first year of marriage is through
The cream anniversary pair, will light for you two.
Red candles aflame, both your futures are bright
Celebrate promotions you’ve worked toward with all of your might.
By this time we hope, maybe, just maybe
You can light the purple ones, on the birth of your baby.
And just when you thought you’d put these away
Take the light blue ones out-for your fifth anniversary day.
Now just one more pair left – for the big 2 5
The anniversary pair that will keep your love alive.
Congratulations Meaghan and The Boy
On the start of your forever
May the two of you always be happy together
And burn these candles
Just the way we said
But please don’t forget-blow them out before bed!

So cute.

Thanks in-laws!!

Showcasing the Talent

Instead of a traditional speech The Boy’s Best Man showcased his musical talent.  Very sweet. And luckily for me (and him) very easy to recount what he said, no speech recreation and memory straining required.

Of course he opened with some nice words about how happy he was for us.  But mostly I just remember the singing and how different and lovely it was.

Good memory.

Boy’s BFF Paul debated long and hard about what song to choose and how/when to do it.  He considered some Tragically Hip options, but our favourites that are within his range, are about war or the death of a child.  Not really the most wedding-y. So instead, he surprised us.

The Cranberries – Dreaming my Dreams.

Here’s the video:

And here’s the lyrics:

All the things you said to me today,
Change my perspective in every way.
These things count to mean so much to me,
Into my faith, you and your baby.

It’s out there. It’s out there.
It’s out there. If you want me I’ll be here.
[X2]

I’ll be dreaming my dreams with you.
I’ll be dreaming my dreams with you.
And there’s no other place,
That I’d lay down my face.
I’ll be dreaming my dreams with you.

It’s out there. It’s out there.
It’s out there. If you want me I’ll be here…
[X2]

I’ll be dreaming my dreams with you.
I’ll be dreaming my dreams with you.
And there’s no other place,
That I’d lay down my face.
I’ll be dreaming my dreams with you.

Dreaming my dreams with you.
I’ll be dreaming my dreams with you.
And there’s no other place,
That I’d lay down my face.
I’ll be dreaming my dreams with you.

Still loving that line – And there’s no other place, that I’d lay down my face. I’ll be dreaming my dreams with you.  – Beeee-u-ti-ful.

Thanks BFF Paul for sharing your music skills and making our day just that much more special.

Can’t get enough of this LONG wedding recap? Well, you’re in luck – I’ve just counted the number of weeks to our one year anniversary and decided, this can’t go on forever.  So, I need to move a little more quickly (I knew those skipped weeks were going to come back and bite me). So starting this week – double Wedding Wednesdays posts.  Come on back this afternoon – for a few words from The Boy’s parents!

Maid of Awesome – Sweet Words from my Sweet Sista

Wedding Wednesday Thursday is at it again.  We did speeches throughout dinner to try and combat the “these speeches are going on forever are they ever going to end?!” syndrome. First up was Sista, she requested going first – not so much because she was super eager to speak – but because she couldn’t eat until she got it over with.

Sista didn’t write anything down – very uncharacteristic of her. She did an AWESOME job and made me laugh right away so that I only welled but didn’t flat out ugly cry. Bonus! The only shortfall of not writing anything down, it was a one-time show.  There’s no perfect recreation of this part since following w-day was the first year of a new school and Sista literally had NO TIME to write down her thoughts until this week when I gave her a firm deadline. Yesterday.

But she once again did a great job and remembered all the major parts – it once again made me well up, but no ugly crying at the office.  Bonus.  I give you Wedding guest post from Sista (once again with a few key edits from me).

Maid of Honour Speech/Groomsmen Toast…..or what I can remember of it and created anew 10 months later. By Sista 

I’m a little bit nervous (said to the table of people sitting beside the podium).

I have probably known that I would be giving this speech most of my life and a time frame was finally nailed down for me last November when The Boy and Meaghan got engaged. I knew then that at some point this summer I would need to sit down and write a speech but as can be expected of a procrastinator I kept putting this Maid of Honour job off.  Not such a smart idea, since during Meaghan and The Boy’s final two weeks of wedding preparation I started a new job at a private school in Toronto.  Needless to say writing a speech has not been a top priority as the school year starts up.  So here I am with nothing written down and a speech to deliver.

As part of the very overwhelming start to my new job, a psychologist was invited to speak to the faculty at my new school for a professional development session.  One of the things he focused on was how memories are formed.  Specifically long term memories.  I’m definitely over simplifying this but basically what he told us was that if you want a short term memory to become a long term memory, they have to be emotionally charged.  Without a significant emotion our short term memories are simply forgotten.  When strong emotions are involved long term memories are formed.  A valuable piece of information for all the teachers in the room but it also got me thinking about my first memories of Meaghan and The Boy.

One of my very first memories, is of Meaghan.  I would have been almost 4 and there is no doubt that I still have this memory because of the strong emotions attached to it. Pure loathing.  Upon hearing that I had a baby sister, I felt nothing but hatred, disappointment and loathing as I ran up the Newton’s stairs.  The memory is a little fuzzy around the edges but I can remember exactly what the carpet on the stairs looked like as I ran up them, and the wallpaper in Tim’s room as I cried myself to sleep.  And I can remember the emotion.  I loathed her.  As you probably know from the wedding website, I quite simply wanted a baby brother and my first memory of Meaghan was charged with bitter disappointment.

Fortunately for both of us, these emotions did not last long.  Meaghan and I have grown up to become incredibly close and the best of friends.  We often say that we are almost too close, simply because we generally don’t feel the need to seek out other friendships, as we have everything we need in each other. We are so close that I don’t need to look over at Megs right now, to know what she’s doing, feeling or thinking.  I have never met sisters that are as close or closer then we are – except maybe Darcy and Olivia, but they’re twins.

If I’m being honest, I don’t remember the first time I met The Boy.  It must not have been an emotionally charged event for me.  When The Boy and Meaghan first started dating I was living in Victoria, and it wasn’t until the year I spent at Western that The Boy and I really got to know each other.  Many of my first memories of The Boy are a bit fuzzy around the edges as well, but for different reasons (pretend drink taken here).

The strongest long term memory that I have about The Boy is one that he probably won’t remember but is also one that speaks volumes about the man my sister has just married.  In February of my year at teachers college, Kate and Meaghan were off on reading week, while The Boy and I for whatever reason were both in London and still pseudo living out of their apartment, even though they weren’t there.  One evening during this week the phone rang non-stop.  My cell phone and the apartment phone rang all night as I had just received some not so very good news and calls between doctors and family went on for hours.  At one point in the other room, The Boy got hold of Meaghan and asked her why the heck the phone was ringing so much.  What on earth was going on?  Meaghan filled him in and a while later when I emerged from the bedroom, phone calls done, and head spinning with “what if” possibilities, The Boy looked at me and simply said “We need Dairy Queen.”

The Boy drove us to Dairy Queen, I had a Reese Peanut Butter Cup Blizzard while he had strawberry (because he always has strawberry).  He even paid.  We didn’t even really talk about my not so good news or the phone ringing or anything in particular really.  The Boy took me for ice cream and with that gesture my short term memory was charged not with emotions of fear and panic but of safety and security and became one of my favourite long term memories.

It’s these types of simple thoughtful gestures that make The Boy and Meaghan such an incredible match for each other.  They think nothing of putting themselves out there for their friends.  It doesn’t matter if it means driving hours after a long work week to be in the audience at your first gig, knitting you hats and sweaters for your newest arrival, inviting you out for a drink or taking you for Dairy Queen at just the right moment, The Boy and Meaghan are a couple that define themselves by the thoughtful little things they do for the people they love.  They do them quietly and without fanfare or wanting to be recognized, they do them simply as natural extensions of their genuine nature.

This is probably part of the reason why The Boy has such a large collection of friends.  While this is a great asset to have it certainly makes choosing a wedding party very difficult.  I’m not sure that the Best Man and Groomsmen know this but it took The Boy a long time to decide on who he wanted to stand at his side today.  The fact that you are sitting here should indicate to you that The Boy counts you as his most trusted friends.  Friends he would do anything for, big or small, and friends that he knows will return the favor when he needs it.  I’m certain all of you have your own emotionally charged long term memories of The Boy, he wouldn’t have chosen you if you didn’t.  He also would not have chosen you if he didn’t anticipate many more memories with you at his side. So as I wrap this speech up, I’d like everyone to raise a glass and toast the groomsmen and the many more emotional charged memories to come.

Thank you SO MUCH Sista – I knew you would do an awesome job but you really out did yourself.  Love you!! XOXO

Introductions

It’s another edition of Wedding Wednesday errr… Thursday! When we left off we were in the room. It was freakin’ hot in there – FYI a room with TONS of west facing windows equals super warm by 6:30 in September.

My brother was our M.C. and he. was. awesome. Since we obviously know our wedding party better than he did, we worked together to come up with what I think we all agreed were awesome introductions. Without further adieu let’s go to the movies.

Guest post by proxy from Brother! (With a few minor and obvious edits from me – brother did not refer to the Boy as The Boy.  He does have a name. We use it sometimes – formal occasions mostly.)

As you all know Meaghan and The Boy have put a lot of work into making today’s festivities look effortless including a nice little website with lots of helpful information and links as well as some of the back story on the The Boy & Meaghan saga and an introduction to the wedding party. At first I thought great, that cuts my work as the MC at least in half. Then I found out that you people were actually reading it. Nothing is easy. So, instead of just regurgitating the website to you and because I don’t know about you but I’m horrible at putting names to faces I’ve put together a little presentation to help you get to know everyone at the head table and how they fit into the Meaghan & The Boy movieverse.

Andrew
I don’t know about time travel but I would not be surprised to learn that Andrew and The Boy have done more in or to a phone booth than just make a call. Plus, look at that hair, its almost like he stole it from Bill S. Preston Esq. himself.

Erin
From what I’ve heard Erin kicks ass and takes names, but under a tough exterior she just a sweet small town girl and supportive sister for The Boy and now Meaghan, but under that layer there’s another layer that just might kick your ass because she can. Between The Boy and Erin they have played on something like 197 different sports teams including varsity volleyball at western. I don’t know if anyone’s told Meaghan this yet but changing her
name will not make her good at sports or even make her coordinated enough to walk down the street without falling down.

Chris
As I’m assuming the only PHD physicist in the room Chris is the most likely to be able to explain to you why time travel is impossible. However, Chris is probably also the most likely one in the room to have his own secret lair complete with at least a dozen time machine prototypes and plans for world domination.

Kristyn
Meaghan and Kristyn have known each other for nearly half of their lives and their 10 year high school reunion is just around the corner. I know that they are both looking forward to not having to make up stories about their post-it note empires to impress the cool kids. Actually, knowing the two of them they are probably more likely to talk about the two of them living in a cult with their 7 husbands and 26 kids preparing for the coming of Zoltan.

Chris
Teacher’s college, Tiger Woods, volleyball, beer wall. On paper Chris and The Boy are practically Twins.

Kate
Kate kind of struck out in the roommate department in first year University but Meaghan managed to convince Kate that she really was cool and they lived together for the rest of their university days. Meaghan on the other hand hit the jackpot. Well at least by family standards. Sista’s roommate was convinced that she was going to hell and was constantly trying to save her soul and my roommate apparently thought he was in a prison movie and slept with a baseball bat for the first semester just in case. So the jackpot bar is pretty low but a win is a win.

Paul
The bromance between Paul and The Boy is the stuff of legends beginning from as early as the ninth grade. That’s about all that I can really tell you that’s appropriate for this evening’s festivities but if you get one of them cornered this evening you might ask them about one Halloween when they rode around in the trunk of a car.

Sista
As it turns out there aren’t a lot of movies about sisters that portray a positive relationship between the two but I did manage to find one that despite being about brothers describes Meaghan and Sista’s relationship quite nicely. Sista and Meaghan have been best friends pretty much since Sista got over the fact that Meaghan wasn’t a boy. Meaghan followed Sista to Alexander Mackenzie High School and Sista followed Meaghan to London and Western University, eventually living together in an apartment in Toronto until tragedy struck and Sista got a job in Guelph forcing them to separate both having to live with boys.

Meaghan and The Boy
Finally the reason we are all here tonight, The Boy & Meaghan. They aren’t much to look at but it is easy to see that each is meant for the other fitting together like two hunks of the same smelly multi-layered onion. Each of us here tonight has played some part in developing one of those layers which is why we are all here, to join in the celebration of Meaghan and The Boy’s union and to start asking them “so, are you pregnant yet?”

Thanks again Brother! You did an awesome job!