Everyone needs a role model

Have you been watching the Olympics? It’s pretty impressive what all of these athletes can do with their bodies and their brains and while I’m not a sports person AT ALL, I’m all for kids and adults alike looking up to athletes. They work hard and if this YouTube video is any indication – they play hard too.

But I’m not here on a Sunday to talk about the Olympics or the validity of athletes as role models, or pop stars, authors, or anyone else for that matter.

Nope. This Sunday post is for Ginger Mom and Ginger Dad! Today is their 40th wedding anniversary. 40 years is a long freakin’ time and worthy of  a Sunday post at the very least.

My parents have a love story that, as they like to say, only works 40 years ago. “if you did what we did – we would worry. The world’s just not the same.” I don’t know about that – part of me thinks if Mom’s parents weren’t distracted by 9 other children they’d have been a little worried too!

Mom headed to Northern Ontario, (further North than we are now – I know it seems impossible) to mend a broken heart. She stayed with family and they introduced her to a bean pole ginger in thick black-rimmed glasses with huge, HUGE muttonchops. Who would have thought that would be just her type!

They spent the week or maybe 2 together that summer and then Mom headed back to civilization.

They chatted on the phone, and Dad met the family at Christmas. Imagine pulling up to a house with 9 kids arranged by height staring at you in the front window. He passed the test and they started talking about marriage.

Disappointed that they couldn’t get it together by Valentine’s Day, they took things slow and got married in August instead.

A year may not seem like a super short time to go from “my name is” to “I do” – but what about 6 weeks? Does that seem short? Because 6 weeks is all the time they spent together in the same city.

6 weeks.

6 weeks and then Mom left civilization and moved to Northern Ontario.

It seems to have worked out for them though since its forty years later and they’re still going strong.

Mom and Dad have been awesome role models for my siblings and me. They love each other and their family. The only fight I remember them having when we were kids was about cheese. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t about cheese but I remember thinking at the time – they never fight and they’re fighting about cheese? Weird.

They taught us to love our partners first. Speak to each other with kindness. Laugh a lot. And how to work in a true partnership.

Whenever The Boy is away for the weekend or we find we’re on opposite schedules, my Mom says “don’t worry that you’re spending a lot of time apart. It’s good for your marriage. You should both have your own lives.” Dad seems to agree – but then Dad always agrees (maybe that’s a secret to success too!)

The Boy and I might only be in our first year of marriage, and 40 seems like a long what away. But that’s the great thing about role models – they let you know what’s possible.

Congratulations on your 40th anniversary Mom and Dad!

XOXO

 

The Officiant to Make it Official

I was raised Catholic.  As my mom likes to remind me regularly, every significant event in your life is celebrated in the Catholic church, from birth to young-adulthood, marriage, babies, sickness and death.  The Catholics aren’t alone in this regard, let’s face it pick any religion out there and they have some sort of ceremony for life’s milestones.  Having been raised Catholic, I have always wanted a Catholic wedding.  I love the Catholic ceremony, it involves a full mass – it’s about 45 minutes to an hour.  To me marriage is a big freakin’ deal, and the Catholic ceremony treats it that way.

The Boy is not Catholic, but this is something that we’ve talked about before.  He knew a Catholic wedding was important to me, he’s fine with it.

I don’t necessarily agree with everything the Catholic church stands for, but when I’m scared, or sad, or nervous or happy… I go to church. I don’t consider myself churchy, but it is important to me.

I grew up with possibily the most normal down-to-Earth priest you will ever meet.  He’s retired now, but used to bring his yellow lab on the altar every Sunday, and reguarly prayed for the Leafs’ success.  I would be very happy if Father Bill would marry us, and he will definitely be included in our day.  The priest that will be marrying us was raised in Fr. Bill’s church – he’s basically a younger model.  To capture Joe in a few words, he’s mid-thirties, grew up down the street from where the Boy and I are living now and threw an apple at our window at Halloween.  Anytime we see either priest the Boy like’s to tease me that I’m living in sin.  I assure him neither one of them seem to have a problem with it, so I’m pretty sure God doesn’t mind either.  The Catholic Church of Meaghan is hip with the times.

So I emailed Fr. Joe shortly after we got engaged and didn’t hear from him.  Once we had a venue and a date, I called him.  Our conversation was priceless, and reminded me why I wanted him to marry us in the first place.

We exchanged pleasantries:

Me – I emailed you and you didn’t answer me.

Joe – No.  You’re lying.  I always answer every email I get, so you didn’t email me or I would have answered (*I’ve since emailed him again about something else, he has yet to answer me – who’s the liar now?)  So what do you need?

Me – Well “The Boy” and I have some news… and we need your professional services.

Joe – What? Are you pregnant?

Me – *Shock and Awe* NO! I’m not pregnant!

Joe – Oh, well then what do you need?

Me – We thought we’d go legit and get married, and we were hoping you would do it.

Joe – Married! Wow! That’s wonderful.  Of course!  Where are you getting married?

Me – Well isn’t that up to you? Our reception is in Newmarket on September 10, 2011.  But wherever you want to do it we’ll be there.

Joe – No problem, you’ll get married at St. John’s in Newmarket – no problem 100%. (*This is not the church Joe is currently residing… this can be an issue – apparently he was not worried)

Me – Okay, sounds good to me.

Joe – Great, well… there might be one problem.  I’m probably being moved to a different church this year, so the new church might have a wedding already scheduled for me that day.

Me – Oh okay. (*thinking – not a problem, if he can’t do it, we’ll ask Fr. Bill to do it*)

Joe – But… screw it! I don’t know them, I know you – so no problem. 100% I’ll be there.

He told me to email him again so he could give me all the “To Dos” before W-Day.  Done.

This is one of the reasons the Boy is cool with he Catholic ceremony.  Our officiant is a guys guy, who golfs, accuses people of lying and says things like “screw it.”  We have to do a Marriage Preparation course.  But otherwise we are booked for a 1:30 Catholic wedding on Saturday September 10, 2011!

 

Jesse and Krystle tie the knot – Guests harass the Boy and I

I’m a little behind the ball on this one, but the Boy and I did wrap up our wedding marathon at a Friday evening wedding the last week of August.  This wedding was for all descriptive purposes, a traditional wedding.  They were married outside at a golf course.  They did not get rained out, Jonas and Kristen styles and instead had a beautiful sunny day.  There were drinks enjoyed by all, a plated dinner and lots of time for dancing.  The speeches were short, dinner flew by, the whole day went off without a hitch.  The result of a short dinner and short speeches was LOTS of time for dancing.  While I love the dancing, a Friday night wedding – it’s kinda tiring.  Most people had worked all day, so by the time 11:30 came around and I was thinking it was just about over – apparently we had only just begun.  Nonetheless, we had a great time and it was really nice to see everyone.

The real story of Jesse and Krystle’s wedding was all of the attention the Boy and I garnered due to the lack of bling on this girl’s left hand.  Jesse and the Boy had played hockey together, so we saw a lot of the Boy’s old friends.  This group has known the Boy and I as a couple from the beginning.  On top of that, it’s a small town, people tend to get married a little younger and our lack of progress in that department certainly has NOT gone unnoticed.

At one point, the Boy was introducing me to a couple at our table, I said hello and mentioned that I had met them before, but it was a long time ago and at their own Buck and Doe – they very likely did not remember me.  The couple laughed, “Our buck and doe was SO long ago – that was like… 6 years and 2 kids ago!”  Wow, that is a long time ago. That was the first time we got hit, “So are you guys married yet?”

It started. As is my go to response for this question I held up my left hand and said “NOPE!” in my best “We’re not engaged and I can’t believe it and I wish this guy would get off his ass already” voice.  The boy, in his go to response laughed it off and responded with something along the lines of “What’s the rush?” in his best “I’m a guy and I’ve never given the idea any thought, and I am completely oblivious to the tone of my beautiful girlfriend’s voice right now” voice. Jokes all around and we continued with dinner.

But it didn’t stop there. Every time we turned around we met someone new that had recently been inducted into the married club and was eager to know when we would be joining.  I thought it was funny at first – but after a while I really started to feel bad for the Boy. It’s a lot of pressure on him.  And hey, we’re in this together.  It’s not like we haven’t talked about it, or have plans of our own.  We’re a team and my lack of bling has been just as much my decision as his.

Now, here’s the deal loyal followers, it’s true the Boy and I have been together an awfully long time.  We’re coming up on 8 years at the end of the month. But we’ve also been in school for all but the last year. For 3 years of that time we lived in different cities.  So no. We’re not married.  Would I like to be planning a wedding right now? Secretly, (and not so secretly) but between you me and the wall SURE! Do I give the Boy a hard time about the lack of bling?  Of course.  Do I find it funny when other people give him a hard time?  Absolutely.  But when he’s getting it from every side of the room, every time he turns around? Well, my protective side starts brewing and my Feminist side pipes in.

So I stopped siding with the inquiring minds and started siding with the Boy.  I stopped giving the answer of “No we’re not, why don’t you talk to him about that.”  Instead opting for “No we’re not, we’re still getting to know each other. Taking it slow and making sure we’re really right for each other. It’s a big decision – not one to be rushed into.”  Also known as the “Stuff it married club, I don’t need a membership to your snooty organization to know that my boy loves me – after all he left me a cookie the other day” defense.

So no, loyal followers we’re not married.  Maybe someday.  Maybe even someday soonish, or sooner rather than later.  Maybe 2011 or maybe 2020.  When it happens, it happens. I plan on being very excited, and very happy.  And I’ll be sure to tell you all about it. But for now we’re just two kids living in sin, and loving every minute of it.

Jesse and Krystle – congratulations. Your wedding was beautiful.  Unfortunately while we were being harassed by your other guests my camera died.  So we have no actual proof of being present at your wedding.  But I promise we were there, and it was lovely.